Welcome to my page, I am so glad that you’re here. As a licensed professional counselor I am passionate about helping people through traumatic experiences in their lives and creating the lives they want for themselves.
One thing that people sometimes ask me is “what is a traumatic experience?”. I love this brave question. Sometimes people feel that their trauma is too big to share, that it will overwhelm or harm the listener. On the other end, some feel that their trauma is too small, and doesn’t warrant the attention of a trauma therapist. If you hold either view, I encourage you to open yourself to new possibilities. Numerous studies show that people who have experienced what we therapists call “Big T Trauma” or “little t trauma”experience relief in symptoms of depression, anxiety, insomnia, difficulty in relationships, hopelessness, irritability, lack of motivation, lack of self-worth and many other areas.
What do I mean by “Big T Trauma” and “little t trauma”? Big T Trauma is what most people generally think of as trauma and refers to, often a single event or close series of events that are exceptionally painful and frightening. Some examples would be things like sexual assault trauma, being in combat, losing or miscarrying a child, a cancer diagnosis, divorce, loss of a job, loss of a home, empty nest, etc. Little t trauma is the trauma that occurs in the context of relationship, where a person’s self-worth is chipped away by a parent or loved one. It is often a subtle process whose effects build up over time, and it can be hard to identify and pin down. Sufferers of little t trauma often feel depressed and anxious and struggle with feelings of worthlessness, but can’t seem to point to a clear reason why.
Perhaps reading these descriptions is opening your eyes to what “trauma” can mean to different people. Maybe you see yourself described. My hope is that if you do relate to any of what I have described here, you allow yourself to entertain the idea that there could be a way forward for you.
In working with my clients I draw from several clinical modalities.
· Applied Neuroscience
· Attachment Theory
· Mindfulness
The first, “applied neuroscience”, may sound complicated, but it simply describes how trauma hangs out in the body, brain, nervous system, and limbic system. Trauma can show up as
- an inability to focus
- back pain
- headaches
- fearfulness of others
- pessimism
- restlessness
- stomach issues
- insomnia
- panic attacks
- intrusive thoughts
- poor memory
- “brain fog”
- mood swings
- sensitive startle response
- social withdrawal
- vague pain throughout the body
- sexual dysfunction
- hyper-vigilance (extreme alertness to possible threats)
- obsessive compulsive behaviors
- emotional numbing
- guilt and shame
- anger problems
If you see yourself described here, you may be starting to realize that it is not as easy as “willing yourself” out of these patterns. Trauma has physical effects that take time and effort to undo. Be easy on yourself. Because the brain is so adaptable and old habits can be re-written, the possibility of healing is real, especially when we have an understanding of the processes at play.
The second is Attachment Theory, and the simplest explanation for this is the study and understanding of how we do relationship. How you grew up will inform every significant relationship you have in life. Trauma can impact the way that we “attach” and relate to other human beings and unresolved trauma can impact how we attach in our future relationships. For example, a man who grew up with a critical mother or violent father may seek out relationships where he likely to be emotionally or physically abused once more, where his poor sense of self-worth seems to be proven true by another. Or he may treat those he loves in ways that make them feel “less than” without understanding why. I love working with people around relationships and having the honor of seeing people transform from confused, isolated, resentful, and shameful to feeling connected, loved and loving, and understood in their relationships.
Lastly, I love incorporating mindfulness into session and teaching to others. Its not just sitting quietly or not thinking. As John Kabat-Zinn explains, “Mindfulness is the act of paying attention to the present moment without judgement”. It’s that “without judgement” piece that seems to make the biggest difference. Practicing mindfulness, whether through meditation or what we call “off the cushion” practice in our daily activities, mindfulness helps to rewire the brain towards calm and connection, it tones our nervous systems, and paves the way for more empathic and compassionate thinking. My clients who practice mindfulness meditation or off the cushion practice regularly report better problem solving skills, feeling calmer, more focus, and have an easier time regulating their feelings. Many describe it as “life changing”. As a mindfulness meditation practitioner myself, I can attest that it has definitely improved my experience of my life as well as my relationships with others, and I’d love to show you how to make use of this inexpensive, simple, yet powerful tool in your own life.
A few offerings from my clients about their work with me:
“When I began therapy with you, I felt broken and anxious. What I got out of therapy with you was my sense that there was a place for me in the world that I deserved. There are stressful moments now, years later, in which I recall our conversations, and these still help me regain my calm.”
“I could not have done this without you, Chelsea. You’ve helped me to ignore my self-attack and do things I didn’t think I could do before. I’m going out, making friends, taking trips, and starting my own business now. Anxiety doesn’t own me anymore!”
“Now I get how shaming myself pushes my wife away from me and doesn’t help anything. Just when I need her most, I push her away. But over the course of my therapy I can catch myself now and reach out to her instead. I’m calmer at work, too, and I don’t get so stressed out by the little things anymore. We have so much more fun now.”
“I’ve changed so much and I believe in myself so much more now, I’m no longer weighed down with all that anger and guilt. Colors seem brighter! And everything takes so much less energy. I feel so much relief.”
If you are an individual or a couple who are considering therapy, I welcome hearing from you. Together we can decide if therapy is right for you and if my approach is a good fit for what you would like to work on. If I am not the right therapist for you, I am more than happy to stick with you and help you find a therapist who feels like a good fit.
If you are a therapist who is reading my page, I’m so glad you are here. I offer consulting on mindfulness practice as well as working with trauma. Additionally, if you have your own trauma that you could benefit from exploring, I would love to work with you and help you integrate your learning and healing into your own practice.
And finally, if you are interested in joining my mindfulness group through Patreon, visit Badass Compassion to learn more. Our group is populated with thoughtful, dedicated, and lovely people and we welcome new attendees at any time. Participants say that this hour per week has completely changed their approach to their daily challenges and has made room for more joy and ease in their lives. We would love to see you there.
Thank you for visiting my page, I hope you find this information helpful.
Warmly,
Chelsea